Letter #3 to Brides and Brides-To-Be

Dear Ewere,

I was precocious reminded of the conception of “The One” erstwhile I recovered an old, long-forgotten database I had titled “Things I Worry About When I Think of My Upcoming Nuptials.” For Number 6, I’d written, “I’ll ne'er conscionable ‘The One’, ever. It’s over. This is it. Boo hoo hoo.”

I yet called that wedding disconnected and ne'er revisited the list. I forgot each astir it until I stumbled upon it years later. As I looked astatine that item, I asked myself, what is this ‘The One’ thing? I realised I present had lone a vague representation of a conception that was erstwhile precise important to me, truthful I dug retired my aged journals. Sure enough, I recovered immoderate absorbing things.

Photo Pexels Andres Ayrton.

In the diary I kept successful my precocious teens and aboriginal twenties, I recovered 1 introduction that caught my attention. My younger aforesaid had conscionable started dating a large feline and had ne'er been truthful happy. She wrote, “If he’s not ‘The One,’ past I don’t cognize what God is trying to do. He loves Julia Roberts and Sean Connery, sings to me, wants 2 daughters, sleeps with the euphony on, and says things to maine similar ‘I emotion you with each my bosom and each ounce of my being’ and ‘I adore you, cherish you, and tendency you truthful overmuch it hurts.’”

Of course, I rolled my eyes and thought? That’s however we’re expected to archer who ‘The One’ is? I did genuinely emotion him, and we’re inactive affable to this day, but we recovered retired during the narration that we were incompatible. Even now, erstwhile it comes to what matters — our values, priorities, and explanation of occurrence and fulfilment — we don’t spot oculus to eye. And yet, helium thrilled my heart, and what heart-warming memories we made!

The much I work my aged journals and looked backmost astatine men I’ve loved before, the much I realised immoderate important things. Love isn’t what the romance paperbacks accidental it is, and ‘The One’ isn’t who they made him retired to beryllium either. Real beingness is overmuch antithetic from the movies. ‘The One’ of the romance satellite is much that idiosyncratic who seems to conscionable ‘get’ us, who knows what to accidental and what not to say, who instinctively knows what to bash and however to delight us.

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One woman says of a antheral she dated earlier she met her husband, “He and I utilized to decorativeness each other’s sentences. Our conversations would past 5 hours astatine a time. I’ve ne'er felt truthful live oregon stimulated. But beingness wouldn’t person worked with him…he was not idiosyncratic I could trust on.”

I’ve learned that erstwhile it comes down to it, that’s what uncovering ‘The One’ is truly about: uncovering idiosyncratic who is genuinely a spouse successful the travel of beingness — idiosyncratic who volition person your backmost travel hellhole oregon precocious water, erstwhile things are large and erstwhile they’re not, from greeting sickness and diapers to birthdays and graduations, earlier and aft the agelong marks.

‘The One’ is committed to loving you and lasting by you everlastingly — committed being the operative word.

Many of america person been with radical who seemed to recognize america close away, aged flames with whom we were much sexually compatible, lovers who loved america the mode we ever wanted to beryllium loved. Sadly, divorcement rates attest to the information that emotion is not enough. Passion, attraction and an aggravated transportation that transcends the mundane adhd large enjoyment to immoderate marriage, but these things bash not marque a idiosyncratic ‘The One’. It is not capable to ‘hit it disconnected close away’ and make delicious intimacy; intimacy indispensable beryllium sustained.

The bosom is the astir deceitful happening determination is, and galore times it misguides us. How galore couples person joined nether the illusion of being ‘in love’ lone to find retired that they’ve made a sedate mistake? And however galore much person had the existent woody close successful beforehand of them and decided that for immoderate romance caller oregon dating literature-induced reason, this idiosyncratic couldn’t perchance beryllium ‘The One’?

I’m not a narration counsellor; I’m conscionable a pupil of beingness who is sharing what I’ve learnt. Indeed, I would alternatively not springiness you a prescriptive database connected “how to archer if helium is the one”; the net is already awash with those.

But I tin archer you this: conscionable due to the fact that it’s not what you were expecting, doesn’t mean it’s not everything you’ve been waiting for.

 Love,

Joy.

Author’s bio

Joy Ehonwa is an editor, proofreader, writer, and inspirational talker who is happiest erstwhile she is supporting different women. Dear Elona, a postulation of letters to brides and brides-to-be is disposable connected Amazon and successful MedPlus pharmacies nationwide.

Quote to highlight

“Just due to the fact that it’s not what you were expecting, doesn’t mean it’s not everything you’ve been waiting for.”